Congratulations and welcome. You have entered a site designed by bastards, for bastards, in a spirit of unapologetic bastardy.

If you suspect that you are not a bastard, careful questioning of your mother may reveal that you actually are. If not, I confer upon you the title of honorary bastard for finding this site.

I am Christophe the Insultor, Archbastard. I make my living insulting people for money. If you find any part of this site insulting to you personally, you owe me money. Means for you to pay your debt will be provided on the page where I sell things.

I am curious how you found yourself here…are you looking for one of my morally bankrupt CDs? Or are you confused about what to do with your alone-time on the computer now that your credit card has been cancelled, exiling you from the earthly paradise of internet porn? Either way, you are welcome here. I embrace you. I lay my hand warmly on the small of your back, putting my middle finger down the back of your pants, but only to the first knuckle. Second knuckle if I enjoy your perfume or after-shave.